‘I want my own room’

”I want my own room”. My daughter was staring at me. We live in a 3 room apartment. Up until that point, she had her bed in our room. The extra room was a home office. I worked home from a couple of times a week. It was a storage ”facility” for my own hobbies. My XC bike was leaning against the wall. All of my brewing equipment was in the room.

Yeah, I know. I have a kind wife who let me take over an entire room. But that being my room had started to become an issue. We had toys everywhere in the rest of our space.

We already knew that our time in our apartment had an end date. Not because it’s bad. We love the area. It’s modern and new. But it’s small.

My daughter got her wish. She has her very own bedroom. Something she points out to everyone she meets. It’s a big deal. That also meant everything needed a new place. We’ve made it work. Brewing equipment is in storage. I have a little nook to work from if needed. My bike found its new place in our bedroom. It ain’t sexy, but for now, that will have to do.

My wife and I have talked about buying a house. It’s been a dream. But it never felt serious. It was a ”one day” dream. Since getting our 2nd child, we realized that we need more space.

Two adults and two kids in a 3 room apartment starts to feel cramped. We’re living ”upon each other”. It takes a toll on all of us. Needless friction is created. Emotions rise.

It feels like, that in any given moment, all of us need the bathroom at the same time. Kids come with stuff. It’s everywhere. Our apartment feels like a maze. Getting ready to go outside with a tiny hallway is fun. I highly recommend it. In a couple of years, our son will want his own room. Logistically, we only have 1 room left. Our room. Where would my wife and me sleep? The living room? Nope. That ain’t happening. We need space. We need a house. So we started looking at listings.

But, when you start looking at houses, you get a reality check. They are expensive. We live in the north of Sweden. In one of the bigger cities. A downpayment for a basic house is a minimum 500K SEK. That’s a decent yearly salary. It’s a lot of money. Let that sink in. A year’s salary, and that’s only the downpayment. Most need to loan the rest. And it’s a big fucking loan.

I mean, I knew houses were expensive. But goddamn. That hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s crazy and fucking terrifying.

You’re tying yourself to a place for a long time. To some degree, that’s the whole point with a house. We want our home. But it’s crazy to think that we would be paying for that house for the rest of our lives.

Because that’s the thing. People in Sweden, if they don’t sell their house, rarely get rid of their house loan. And how could you? When a basic house requires an enormous loan, that is what’s going to happen.

Renting means your risks are low. But you can’t have the same quality of life. You always run the risk of a bad neighbor moving in. That’s out of your control. You still have neighbors when living in a house. But it’s different. We’re looking at stand alone houses which means we won’t share a wall with someone else. We won’t have common spaces in the same way.

And we want our yard. A garden to keep. Place to grow potatoes, carrots and other vegetables. We want something that is ours. A place where our kids can grow up. A sense of ”this is home”. The center of our lives for years to come. That feeling is hard to create when you’re renting. At least to us, it feels impossible.

We want to move. We want that house. At this moment in time, a majority of our savings goes towards a down payment. That is thrilling but at the same time scary. In a short period of time, maybe a year, we will make the biggest purchase of our lives.

All of that money will be in a house. It’s ”trapped” there. That is something I struggle with. Tying the money up. But it’s how the game is played. If we want a house, which we do, I need to let that go. I come to the conclusion that we don’t have to have an either or life. We can buy a house and invest money. Our focus will be on paying down the loan. During that time, our investments will be small. But some is better than none.

Life is about decisions. Sometimes you want several things that conflict with each other. The only option is to figure out what you value more. For us buying a house has become more important than a big portfolio. It’s because of the future it can bring us. We want to have our center in this world. Our daughter will have to wait a bit. But she will get more than a room.